So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?
Asking for a friend.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months? Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
You know why emos get excited playing minecraft? They see a creeper
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
What is boring? Talking about boring things
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So I was digging up in the garden and I found some treasure I was gunna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided try to find the treasure. After several hours they found the treasure, it was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friend wear the suit and hugs the other friend. They were both red.
In 2001 my parents took me to 911 i was soaring towards it with excitement
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support windows.
i was exited to watch fast and furious because of Dom Toretto then i realised family is nothing to me cause im an orphan
