Bouquet jokes
At my funeral, take the bouquet off the coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who's next.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
exactly
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
Roses are red, That much is true, But violets are purple, Not F***ing blue!
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
Roses are red, that much is true. But violets are purple, not fucking blue.