Art

Art Jokes

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the dentist?

He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.

Spectrum

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

Hitler

Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.

Crayon

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

Rapper

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

Lottery

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?

It depends how many bullets you have.

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  • Skeleton

    Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?

    He didn't have the heart to put into it.

    Burger

    In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.

    Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.

    Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.

    Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.

    Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.

    But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.

    Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.

    So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.

    Bowl

    In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

    The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

    The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

    The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

    So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

    Beethoven

    Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?

    Answer: Beethoven's last movement.

    Ball

    My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.

    Jesus

    What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

    Baby

    How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

    Comic

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    Username: thelightlessdays