Art jokes

Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

I make elevating music; you make elevator music.

What type of music is a balloon afraid of? Pop.

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?

2nd person: What?

1st person: A pianist.

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."

Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."

How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?

It depends how many bullets you have.

Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?

He didn't have the heart to put into it.

In a world bizarre, Penis burgers, strange delight, Tantalizing taste.

Buns shaped curiously, Meat, a bold centerpiece, Lingering delight.

Sizzling grill, they sizzle, Juicy secrets unfold, Hidden pleasures found.

Tempting, yet absurd, Controversial cuisine, Curiosity piques.

Daring, adventurous, Palates embark on a quest, Uncharted flavors.

But let us not dwell, On the phallic form they hold, For taste transcends all.

Beyond flesh-shaped buns, Flavors dance upon our tongues, A feast for senses.

So let us partake, In this culinary art, With open-minded hearts.

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?

Answer: Beethoven's last movement.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how many you throw.

"Rapeboat" makes Elton John seem straight.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

MC Illusion.

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.