Answer jokes
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
Why?
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
Which one's super super corny?
1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.
2. What's blue and super hard to see?
Dark blue. (🤔)
What is 8 divided by 2?
Answer: 3 (you cut 8 in half).
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
What do you call an old snowman?
Answer: Water.
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.
"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.
She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.