Answer jokes
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a nail?
Answer: You can unscrew the nail.
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Anonymous: This guy reads everyone's jokes, but why doesn't he answer his mom?
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?
Because his answers were netherrite.
Why did the kid go in the guy's van?
Answer: He thought he was being adopted.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
Hey Ryan, what do you call a wall so large no man can conquer?
Answer: Ryan's forehead.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
Answer: David.
Question: What is the difference between a morbid joke and a dark joke?
Answer: One is 10 babies in a trash can; the other is a baby in 10 trash cans.
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.