Answer jokes
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!
Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left hanging.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
What's Juice WRLD's favorite place to shop at?
Answer: Forever 21.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"