Answer jokes
I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
What is brown and sticky?
What is white and gooey?
What is long and hard?
(Tell me in the comments)
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Memes
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Q: What is 9 + 11?
A: 9/11
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Answer: Ho Lee Fuk.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was, and she replied with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”.
Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said Sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****,” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is, and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.
The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is, and he answered with “Oh, what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”
As Sam arrived at the counselor’s office, she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****,” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*