Animal jokes
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.
Fat, mean, and probably inbred.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
gay fish.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Orphans are monkeys.