Animal jokes
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
Memes
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?
Because he was well armed!
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.