Animal jokes
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
When you overslept and can't find Noah
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.