Animal jokes
Why did the cow cross the road to go to the moovies?
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Memes
bro what?
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
My dog died. I'm so sad.
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.