Animal jokes
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
How do rabbits travel?
By hareplane.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.