What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too. Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
A baby seal walks into a club...
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
