Animal jokes

Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

You guys are cow-medians!

So funny!

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

What is a doe called with no legs?

•" No legged deer."

What do you call a deer with no ears?

•" No eared deer."

What do you call a deer with no eye?

•" No eye deer."

XDDDDDD

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

What is a fish without i's?

Fsh.

What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!

What do dogs eat? Dog food.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

What do you call a pig in the mud?

A Ky hot brown.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...

Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.

Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?

They’re cheetahs!

What is the octopus's favorite shape?

An octagon.

You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?

Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.

Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.

Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What do you call a dwarf police officer?

A guinea pig.