Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
You got a pig head!
You are so cat.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.