Animal jokes
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
Memes
Ohio BRUH
Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.