Animal jokes

"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

What do you call finding half of a worm?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

What do you call a fish with no neck?

What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?

What da dog doin'?

What do you call a herd of winning cows?

A topside.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

What do you call a fish with no booty?

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?

Monkey puke.

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂