Animal jokes
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.