What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
What's the difference between a duck?
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
