Animal jokes
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
What's the difference between a duck?
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
You are so cat.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
What do you call a pig at the beach?
Bacon.
You got a pig head!
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Did you adopt your dog?