Animal jokes
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows say, "Moo, not who."
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
I like tortles.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!