Animal jokes
What fish sings?
A tuna.
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
I saw a bear eating a duck.
It was unBEARable.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Black dog is gay.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
What's the difference between a duck?