Animal jokes
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Memes
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
You got a pig head!
You are so cat.
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!