Animal jokes
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
Zozo the hobo has two frogs and a bunny cage from pet expo. Why? Because he wanted a pet, you idiot!
What is the same with a duck and a bicycle? The handlebars--oh, except for the duck.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.
What did the bus say to the mail?
Dog.
What did one angry cow say to another?
We got some beef.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
A cow's favorite singer: Adam Bovine of Mooroon 5.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.