Animal jokes
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
Memes
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a fish with no booty?
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
You got a pig head!
You are so cat.
Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?
Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.
Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Did you adopt your dog?
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
You gonna poop someday.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.