Animal jokes
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a fish with no booty?
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
Dimetrodon, dimetrodon.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Why did the Hummingbird hum because he forgot the words?
What da dog doin'?
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
What do you call a fish with no neck?
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.