Animal jokes
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What do you call a fish with no booty?
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?
Monkey puke.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
Did you adopt your dog?
You gonna poop someday.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."