Animal jokes
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
What da dog doin'?
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
What's the difference between a duck?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"