Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
'Cause he was on crack.
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Why did the chicken cross the road to go away?
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Did you adopt your dog?
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
What do you call a fish with no neck?
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
What do you call a herd of winning cows?
A topside.
What do you call a fish with no booty?