Animal jokes

Happy was a cute hippo.

Happy sleeps in the water.

Happy walks on land.

Happy runs on Savannahs.

Happy swims in mud.

Happy takes a bath.

"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

What's yellow, slimy, and smells like bananas?

Monkey puke.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam!

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.

What do you call a pig at the beach?

Bacon.

You gonna poop someday.

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the “shell” station.

What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?

Redd Foxx.

What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?

An ASSHole.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

What do you call a too round egg?

A prEGGnant egg.

What do you call a cow that is secret?

AnonyMOOus.