Animal jokes

Two whales went to a bar.

The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?

A: My sister.

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.

Why did the cow eat?

Because it was hungry.

A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.

One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.

Black dog is gay.

Mary had a little lamb.

Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

What do you call a club that owls go to?

Hooters.

A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

Why did the cat cross the road?

To die.

Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

Are you a bull, because I wanna ride you like a rodeo.

Why do you stink?

Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.