What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Why did the snake eat a panda?
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
What do you call a group of kangaroos? Gangaroos.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Bird on the beach: seagull.
Bird by the bay: bagel.
Bird down south Philly Walmart parking lot: illegal.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
What is a donkey called when it has a hole on itself?
An ASSHole.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
What do cows read? The moospaper!
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
