Animal jokes
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
When you see a group of pornstars sitting together looking up with their mouths open, that's when you know that Mama bird is back at the nest to feed the baby birds some worms.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road? To prove that he was not chicken.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.