Animal jokes
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
Memes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Pssh.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
bnb dcnb cbf
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.