Animal jokes
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
You look like a cat.
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
I am starting a frog cult now!
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
What do cheetahs like?
Sports!
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.