Animal jokes
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
I am starting a frog cult now!
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
I killed my cat.
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
Suck my cheetah.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.