Animal jokes
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
Suck my cheetah.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
I killed my cat.
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
I am starting a frog cult now!
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized at SeaWorld!
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"