Animal jokes
What kind of fish do people eat?
Deep-fried fish.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
When do cows moo? Moosday.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.