Animal jokes
I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎
I killed my cat.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Suck my cheetah.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!