Animal jokes
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Wy can't a dinosaw ror? Becase it losed it's voucal kord.
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Memes
I called my dog 5 miles.
Today, I fawn over my miles.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
I killed my cat.
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
Suck my cheetah.
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.