Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
When do cows moo? Moosday.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.