Animal jokes
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
What do you call a gangster involved with anime? A Cuz-Player.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
What time is it when a rooster sits on a fence? Morning.
What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence? Time to get a new fence.
What time is it when a lawyer sits on the fence? Time for an elephant to sit on the fence.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
What do you do when you see a wiener dog?
I like you wiener.