Animal jokes
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What did the horses say to the donkeys?
"Jackasses, please like!"
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What can a duck eat for a snack? Saltine quackers!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?
Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A rooster clucks defiance!
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.