Animal jokes
What is a pig's favorite part of karate?
A pork chop.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
You look like a cat.