Animal jokes
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Yo mama so fat, she fell into a pond and all the fish drowned.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?
The piranha doesn't wear makeup.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
To make some BUZZWORTHY TRACKS!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.