Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
When do cows moo? Moosday.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Memes
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Suck my cheetah.
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
I killed my cat.