Animal jokes
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
I can't see the bee.
It's by the beehive.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You'd run away too if your name was OAhHhPrhhHK.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.