Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Animal Jokes
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Suck my cheetah.
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
The cheetah and lion are racing. The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "Man, you a cheetah."
The cheetah says, "Nah, you lion!"
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
I killed my cat.
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
I am starting a frog cult now!
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
