Animal jokes
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you shouldโve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out ๐๐๐๐๐ฑ
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
Memes
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. ๐๐
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Why did the rape victim cross the road?
Because she was a chicken!