Animal jokes
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
#1 BEST ALPHA MALE PICKUP LINE
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!