Animal jokes
New horror movie idea. The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Why did the goat have an abortion?
Because she already had too many kids!
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
My sis a fat cow.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.