Animal jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.