Animal jokes

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

What's the difference between a fly and a bird?

A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.

What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?

An eagle-lastic band!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't.

There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:

Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.

Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.

These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.

Only Ninety's kids know about this.

A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.

Baa- Dum- Tsss!

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?

"Hello Ladies!"

What did the cow tell an Indian?

Moo!

Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.

What did the Indian say to the cow?

I lowe you, moo than anything.

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

OR

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

Bird Box.

What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.

What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.