Animal jokes
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
cat..............Just a cat here
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.