Animal jokes
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
#1 BEST ALPHA MALE PICKUP LINE
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!