Animal jokes
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play an alphabet game, so she said, "What word starts with A?" Lil Johnny raised his hand fast, but she knew that he would say "ass," so she picked on Sally and she said, "Apple." She said, "What word starts with B?" Little Johnny raised his hand as fast as he could, but she knew that he would say something like "bitch," so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said, "Banana." She went all the way to W. Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again, and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter W. She could not think of a cuss word that could start with W, so she called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny said, "Wow." The teacher said, "Good job." Then Little Johnny said, "Like wow, two elephants fucking!"
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"