Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Memes
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What's the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.