Animal jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
Memes
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!