Animal jokes
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
Memes
Goosebumps
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
Dream Stans: Technoblade died too soon.
Technoblade's Dad: He was only 23 years old!
Pig's average lifespan: Only 15 – 20 years (23 years old is way above).
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.