Animal jokes
I had sex with my dog once, and my cat hissed at me for not doing her.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu!
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
Memes
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
Bird Box.
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What did the cat say to the jar of cookies?
"Ground beef!"
What do you call a retarded cow?
Vegan (vegetable).
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.