Animal jokes
Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
What do you call an ugly, grey thing?
Cinderelephant!
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"