Animal jokes
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
How many children does Explain Bear have?
Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.
How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c—
MOO!
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!