Animal jokes
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
Memes
why the fuck is steam there ????
If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?
Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What kind of bees produce milk? Boobees.
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.