Animal jokes
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Memes
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!