Animal jokes
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What did the cow 🐄 watch? moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovies 😂🐄🖥
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.
"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"
"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelephant.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
Q: What are cheetahs?
A: The worst card players!
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What do gay horses eat?
Hayyyyy!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.