Animal jokes
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."