Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Animal Jokes
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
What do crows get after they buy a phone?
A cawing card.
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.
