Animal jokes
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
How do bees get to school?
They go on a school buzz.
What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?
Pony-tails.
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
I love my dog and all dogs.
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!