Animal jokes
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
How do bees get to school? On a school buzz.
How did the shark do on his math test?
Jawesome!
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How do birds pay? With their bills!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.
"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂