Animal jokes
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Mary had a little lamb. Chick, chick, bam! No more lamb.
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What do you call a cow with all of his legs? High steaks.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.