A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"
"Africa," the parrot replied.
Never search up "monkey with blue balls."
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?
Its rings!
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
What is mad cow disease?
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
RIP Harambe.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
