What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
What do you call a fat duck?
Donald Duck.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
