Animal jokes
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
What is the sexiest animal alive? The Βυττerfly.
I have a fish that can breakdance! Only once though, and only for 20 seconds...
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
Why did the chicken cross the road?...
To get to the other side.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
Like if you blow male cows?
A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What do you get when you cross an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why did the pervert cross the road?
'Cause he was stuck to the chicken.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .