Animal jokes
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
I killed my cat.
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What did the duck say to the drug dealer?
Gimme some of that quack!
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
El, if I know.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.