Animal jokes
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
Why do cheetahs always cheat?
What goes zzub zzub zzub?
A fly flying backwards!
Why couldn't the pony sing a song?
He was a little horse.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What happened to the cheetah that took too many baths?
The cheetah became spotless!
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
I killed my cat.
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.