Animal jokes
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Suck my cheetah.
Why did the cheetah get sad?
'Cause it didn't have any balls to suck.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What's green and smells like joemama? Shit from a cock.
bnb dcnb cbf
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Nothing, because fish can't talk.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friend deered it to!
Why did the deer cross the road? Its friends deered it to.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who.
It is an owl!
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.