Aed jokes
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?
They have the same hitbox.
Whats up brother
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*