Aed jokes
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
What is black and white and sits in a tree?
A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
One time, I bought a magnet. My wife asked why I bought it. I said I couldn't help myself; I felt attracted to it.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?
Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny weather, a pleasant place to visit as a family. Don't you think they are not evil creatures, and do you think they have them?
"No, there are no ghosts or evil creatures." You can say that, but don't be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that's not real. WRONG. Gina's real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that's why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know, right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on Instagram, Facebook, and the worst jokes on the site.
Gina Claw Scare loved fire, which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time!
They buried her on a lawn in the forest that caught fire. "HARSH MAN!" I know, right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone's screaming, and then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
What do you call a washed vegetable? A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."