Aed jokes
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."