Aed jokes
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
I sat down and wrote a joke.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
What is a cow?
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.