Aed jokes
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Titanic is more bent than a hairline.
It was just a big hunter killer drone.
Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?
Because they can't reach home.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
Logan Taub has a BBC, Big Butt Chin!
Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.