Aed jokes

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

Where does a pencil go to vacation? Pennsylvania.

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.

Your hairline is like a math expression, there is no solution.

What does a pencil and a plan have in common?

They were both in the Twin Towers.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?

A BUNny.

A goose with no beak, and you eat?

Goose beak salad, file! :)

Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.

Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Could a staff member of this site please block Kimberly Jones?

If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

Q: What did the kid on the airplane say?

A: "Those are two nice towers right there."

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!