Aed jokes
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
experiment
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
Aw hell naw,
dey turned Spongilebile in2 a frigin generator.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Why does the singer put a radio in her fridge?
Because she can listen to call music.
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.