Veggie jokes
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a kid in a hot tub?
Vegetable soup.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.
Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.
Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!
Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!
Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!
Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!
The broccoli says, "I look like a small tree." The mushroom says, "I look like an umbrella." The walnut says, "I look like a brain." And the banana says, "Can we please change the subject?"
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot. My first reaction was "Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!"
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
