Redneck jokes
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes? The Inbredibles.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector," says the coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
What is a redneck virgin?
A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What is a redneck's favorite color?
Blue.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck? Incest.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What do rednecks and deaf people have in common?
Don’t care wtf you say or listen to shit you say😂
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.