Aed jokes

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

Police: "What’s you name?"

Shut Up: "Shut Up."

Police: "Where's your manners?!"

Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?

Because he’s a hoot.

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

If you have a teacher who is a Karen, comment what the worst thing that they did to you or your entire class. I know this isn’t a joke, but why not?

I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣