Aed jokes

There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?

A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪

A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.

It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first? The leaf, because the rope stopped the emo.

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?

Tax credit.

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

When you're having a normal day at school, but then...

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"

Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!