Aed jokes

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

Cheese, gimme cheese!

(inspired by a friend)

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.

What's the best finger for fingering A minor?

My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.

Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.

How do planets have a baby?

They have spasex.

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

My brother when he sees a girl.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...

Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.

When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.