Slit

Slit jokes

Lemon

  • What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 馃檪馃拪馃拤

  • 1
  • Suicide

  • If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

    If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

    It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

  • 1
  • Self Harm

  • How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

    How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

    How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

  • 4
  • Emo kid

  • Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

  • 2
  • Guy

  • A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"

    I walked towards him.

    "I prefer slit," I said.

    "Why?" He asked.

    "You see these wrists?" I spat at him.

  • 0
  • Money

  • (I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

  • 2
  • Light

  • The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!

  • 1
  • Emo

  • Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.

    Postman

  • Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what鈥檚 the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they鈥檇 sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

  • 1
  • Damage

  • I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.