Aed jokes
What do you call a night person? A night owl 🦉 who is up all night, lol!
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?
The hairline is way straighter.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
When I saw a kid fall with no legs, I said, "Just walk it off!"
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.