Aed jokes
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What do you call a nervous Jedi? Panakin.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
My life is the joke.
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D