Aed jokes
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.
I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."