Aed jokes
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
What do me and a casino machine have in common? It takes about 50 pumps to get to the jackpot.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Hi guys, I just found this website. I got emailed by joshisboss or something. Have a great day! 👍
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.