Aed jokes
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
I rate my dad as a pilot 9 out of 11.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
Papyrus: Nyhe heh heh! I got a swim suit! And it even says cool dude!
Sans: I guess now it says pool dude ;)
Papyrus: SSSSAAAAANNNNSSSS!