Aed jokes
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
Why is Saturn richer than other planets?
It has a ring!