Aed jokes
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Who would've known?
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Fun fact: The max comments on a joke on this website is 1000! (LINK IN COMMENTS FOR PROOF)
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
Bro, yo goofy ahh hairline lookin' like a rhombicosidodecahedron.