Aed jokes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Hitler only wanted peace.
A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, and a piece of Turkey.
Turn the comments into a school shootout ;)
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.
You went to the bed store asking for a water bed. They put a pillow and sheets on the ocean.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.