Aed jokes
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
If I throw a paper airplane at two twins, did I cause 9/11?
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"
The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.