Aed jokes

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?

Kermit in a car crash.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

What will die immediately instead of having to suffer torture on the spike of a Judas cradle? A Geometry Dash icon.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.