Periodic Table Jokes

Wordplay

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

Gold

A block of gold walked into a bar. The bartender said, “AU, get out!”

Autism

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

Helium

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

Child

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Science

Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?

Because you are looking a little bit GaY.

Gold

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when she farts, it's counted as a new gas element.

Mercury

Why is Mercury filled with Beryllium, Gold, and Titanium?

Mercury is Be-Au-Ti-Full!

Gold

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.