Aed jokes
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?
Because they have a hare-line.
I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.
I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."